Being grateful has somewhat become much of a joke with thousands of women all over the internet posting pictures of themselves on the beach in their bikini sipping on a cocktail with the caption ‘#grateful’. Can’t these women be grateful for their hazy vitamin D soaked moment? Is there a different expectation on what we should be grateful for? Or has the entire essence of the concept of gratitude gone awry?
One day, 7 or 8 years ago I was on a flight home back from a business trip to Beijing. It being the return leg, I allowed myself to fully indulge in a marathon movie catch up. What happened during my movie catch up was something quite unexpected and frankly life changing.
My choices were ‘Secret Superstar’ and ‘The Breadwinner’, both of which had been recommended by different sources. For those unaware, Secret Superstar is about a muslim girl growing up in India who wants to sing. Her abusive father however has different ideas for her and plans to marry her to his friend’s son in Saudi. She conceals her identity by wearing a niqab and posts her craft on Youtube. Though becoming an overnight sensation, she has to extensively fight against her pre-defined destiny laid out by her misogynist father. She has talent and drive.
Breadwinner is an award nominated animated feature about an 11 year old girl growing up in Afghanistan, in Kabul under the Taliban’s regime. Once her father is wrongly accused and arrested, her family is left destitute without means for survival. As the taliban forbids any female going outside without a male relative. She cuts her hair and dresses as a boy to earn money to feed her mother and infant brother. She lives in constant fear of being found out. Her only fault is being born a girl in a different geography.
These 2 female characters made me realise something. Yes of course they’re fictitious characters, but are they? They’re representative of an entire group of girls and women. People without choices, education and freedom. People in the world, the present tense you and I live in, who are forced into lives they don’t want to live. Who are born into poverty, don’t have access to school, a choice on their marriages, their freedom of life, who have horrific things happen to them.
They would probably literally cut off their left arm for what I have.
How dare I not be happy? How dare I not make the most of everything I have been given?
Do I not owe it to them to live the absolute best life I can? How DARE I not?
I, a woman, who has had access to education. Some of the best that the world could provide. Grateful for all the scrappiness inside me that has fought for the choices I’ve made. The education I chose, the ability to stay single despite emotional and peer pressure, and navigate my career as I see fit and strength to live in any country I choose.
That day, something changed in me. Am I OMG #grateful? Damn right I am. Every single day that I breathe this beautiful free air and make my decisions for myself. Every moment. Even for the bad decisions and all the scrapes I get myself into. Because ultimately I am responsible for my choices and my life. And I will godamn live it the best way I can. Why? Because I owe it to every human who doesn’t.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t have my periods of gloom, difficulty and negativity. The only difference is my reminder that I am born into absolute privilege and I can get myself out of it. I have choices. And I choose happiness. For me and on ‘their’ behalf. I call it respect.
